So…

It’s been a while.  I’ll admit that I’ve thought about blogging a lot.  I’ve even written posts in my head.  Unfortunately none of those made it past my head because I rarely get computer time on our desktop.  It always seems that one of the boys needs (NEEDS) me as soon as I sit down in the office.  Yes, that means that Deuce (“Baby Number 2″) has arrived.  He arrived December 22nd.  He’s over 4 months now and it’s a pretty awesome baby. 

Anyway, last night I took a picture of That Daddy with the boys.  It was the same pose from a picture taken when Deuce was 2 days old.  I finally have my act together (enough to blog, anyway) to get the pictures together for comparison.  You’ll be able to see how H Money and Deuce have both grown.  In fact, H Money will be 3 on Monday.  I’m not sure where the time has gone, but it’s true.

Christmas Eve, 2011

May 1, 2012

What not to say to a pregnant woman:

Every few days I feel like someone says something entirely stupid to me. I understand that people want to talk about babies and pregnant women are a “ripe target” (pun almost intended). What I don’t understand is the rude comments and questions. Most people know that pregnant women (especially those that look like their approaching their due date) can be cranky. Why, therefore, would you ask a question or make a statement that can only be taken in an inappropriate or rude way? I don’t know, either. Since I’m an educator at heart (and by trade prior to H Money’s birth), I figured I would begin a list of things that you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman. I’ll include the few that I’ve been lucky enough to hear recently.

1. You’re going to explode!
No, I’m not. At least no in the way you’re implying. I may emotionally explode because of you’re ignorant comment.
2. Are you having 1 or 2 babies?
Frankly, there’s no polite way to ask if someone is having twins. At the point you’ve already inferred that there’s a chance I’m pregnant with 2 babies. You can’t recover from this question.
3. Following question #2′s answer with, “Are you sure?” or “It doesn’t look like you’re only having 1.”
The second response was what I heard today. Really?!? Who thinks that’s a good thing to say to a pregnant woman?
4. You don’t look like you’ll make it to [insert due date/month here].
Oh, so you’re a doctor or a reliable psychic? Or do you have x-ray vision and you can see my cervix dilating from over there?
5. How much weight have you gained?
Would you ever ask a non-pregnant woman that question? No. While weight gain is healthy during pregnancy it really isn’t a stranger’s business how much (or little) has been gained.
6. Don’t you know what causes that?
I’m dedicating this to my friends and family that have more than 2 or 3 kids. I haven’t heard this, but I know people who have. While you may not personally agree with how many kids someone is choosing to have, it’s really not your business. Also, most adults know that when you have unprotected sex you have a chance at getting pregnant. Between learning about sex from our parents and public school (and the playground and gym locker rooms) people know where babies come from.
7. Were you trying for a [insert gender here]? Also sometimes heard as, “Hopefully you’ll have a [insert gender] this time.”
While some people do hope for a specific gender, not everyone does. Assuming that people are trying for a specific gender or that they’ll be disappointed if they don’t have a specific gender can be really rude.
8. As long as the baby is healthy…
I used to think this. I know that our family has a different perspective on a lot of things (and this is one), but if this baby (Deuce) comes out with a medical issue it won’t be the end of the world. I won’t love Deuce any less (just as I don’t love H Money and less because of all of his medical and special needs). It is what it is.
9. Don’t have more than 2 kids.
Yes, we heard this last week. That Daddy, H Money and I were out getting lunch and the guy at the cash register told us not to have more than 2 kids because then we would be outnumbered. He then proceeded to tell us that he had 3 kids so he knew. Um, okay? I hope his kids have never heard him say that.

I’m sure there’s more to add to the list. Do you have any “favorites”?

Thankful

I’m well overdue for a blog post (sorry about that, I’ll make up a lame excuse later) and I figured that today would be an appropriate time to list everything for which I am thankful (or at least the things I can remember).  Please know that these aren’t in an specific order and I’m sure I’ll need to add to the list about 5 seconds after I hit the “Publish Post” button.  It’s the reality of being pregnant and forgetful.

 

I am thankful for:

-My family.  I am married to an amazing man and have an awesome son.  Sometime in the next 2 months we’ll be adding another to our crew of awesomeness.  It’s exciting and scary to think about.

-All of my other family.  My parents weren’t perfect (whose were?), but I learned so much from my dad and am still learning from my mom.  I’m very lucky.  I have awesome extended family and am fortunate to be related to so many crazy awesome people.  I’ve got pretty sweet in-laws, too.  I’ve been so blessed to be added to their family without any sort of question (though they do think I’m weird because I don’t like ham).

-H Money’s therapists.  If I were actually ranking this list, I would definitely have these ladies up at the top like they are.  They’re a wealth of knowledge, they love on my kid and they have helped him grow so strong (and have helped That Daddy and I learn how to best help H Money).  The therapy techs that work with them are included in this list because they help distract H Money which in turn helps him work harder. 

-Our friends.  That Daddy and I truly believe (based on experience) that it takes a good year to start to get to know people when you move to a new place.  It’s true.  This February will be our 2 year anniversary in Texas and we are starting to build some great friendships. Of course we are also blessed to have friends all across the country as well…we just wish that they lived closer.

-That Daddy’s job.  I often am frustrated with how much That Daddy works, but he does get a decent amount of time off and his job allows me to stay home.  Add in the benefits (good health insurance) and we’re really quite blessed. 

-Our neighbors.  Not only are they great neighbors, but Mrs. Neighbor has also watched H Money during my group midwife appointments (Centering).  She’s fabulous with H Money.

-Our doula (trained labor support).  We only met because of a “divine appointment” (as my sister would say), but she has been a great support to both That Daddy and I in this pregnancy.  It’s great to be able to chat with her after appointments and have someone “birthy” to talk to.

-The midwife group I’m seeing for this pregnancy and Centering.  Centering is actually a curriculum-based group appointment program for pregnant women and their partners.  We have met a lot of people this way and it was a great change of pace from the appointments we had during H Money’s pregnancy.  The midwife group is very VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean) friendly and have been a great support as well.

-H Money’s doctors.  I don’t love all of them and we’ve fired one this year (and another 2 are on the chopping block), but overall he has a great support team.  It’s nice seeing doctors that are all associated with the same children’s hospital and the hospital itself is awesome.

-Dr. T.  Dr. T was H Money’s neurosurgeon when we lived in Georgia.  We miss him so much but were fortunate enough to see him this summer.  I tried to convince him to move to Texas and he rolled his eyes at me.  Maybe some day he’ll reconsider.

-La Leche League.  LLL has become one of the things that I’m involved with for me.  H Money goes with me to meetings, but it’s totally a benefit for me.  I get to be around other moms and help people.  It was one of the first social things I did after we moved to Texas and I’m still so thankful for the women I have met through LLL>

-Our church.  It’s not perfect, but we don’t expect it to be.  The nursery workers love H Money and are great with him and the services are great.  I’m also a huge fan of being able to go to church in the evening because that means That Daddy is usually able to join us.

-Grace.  Not to get all religious on you, but I’m really thankful for the grace that God has extended to us.  I’m also thankful when the people around me give me grace when I screw up (which happens regularly). 

And now I’m starting to draw blanks.  There are many things I’m thankful for that I’m sure didn’t make this list because I forgot them.  It wasn’t intentional, my memory is just horrible.  I’m hoping it’ll return or I’ll learn to cope after Deuce (Baby #2) arrives.  Hopefully.

Love and Cast Iron Skillets

Forgive me for being over a month late, but I wanted to share this with you. In mid-September That Daddy and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary. I’ve known That Daddy since I was 15 (we met in high school marching band) and I married him when I was 23. Each year we celebrate by giving gifts that we deem are the gift of the year for the anniversary. This year, the 8th anniversary, was the new mattress year. Unfortunately between the two of us we can only remember 4 years worth of gifts.
1st Anniversary Gift: Closet organizers
6th Anniversary Gift: A trip to Atlanta to watch the Cheifs play the Falcons
7th Anniversary Gift: Vibram Five Finger shoes
8th Anniversary Gift: New (Tempurpedic) mattress
Anyway, they’re not “normal” gifts, but that’s how we are. I’m guessing at this point you’re wondering what any of this has to do with Cast Iron Skillets. I’m getting there (just deal with my pregnant ramblings for a few minutes). Instead of buying That Daddy a card this year I had a brilliant idea for a homemade card. You see, we love our cast iron skillets (and dutch oven). At some point (in my crazy-pregnant brain) I started comparing cast iron skillets and love and that eventually turned into the card I gave That Daddy for our anniversary. Of course I made it the day before and was entirely too excited to wait until our actual anniversary to give it to him.
What did the card say? I’m so glad you asked.
Our love is like a cast iron skillet. Why?
-It’s classic
-It gets better with age
-If you have a good, well seasoned one people are jealous
-Sometimes it needs re-seasoning, but that’s okay. And expected.
-It’s not always the easiest to use, but it’s the best
-One day our kids are going to want what we have
-It makes good bacon
I had a bunch more ideas, but of course they slipped in and out of my mind as quickly as I came up with them. I have texted That Daddy more Cast Iron Skillet wisdom as I’ve thought of it, but those aren’t in front of me (I’ll share them later). Either way, it’s true, our love is like a cast iron skillet.

It’s Fall?

I know that according to the calendar it’s Fall and has been for a while. Unfortunately North Texas (maybe all of Texas) hasn’t gotten the memo. According to The Weather Channel app on my phone today’s high should be around 89 degrees. Yes, it is almost 20 degrees cooler than our summer highs, but it’s not Fall weather. I’m still wearing tank tops and capris and have long been sick of my Summer maternity clothes. I’ve worn my jeans a couple of times (when I knew I would be in a cool building a majority of the day) but our air conditioner still runs throughout the day. I’m not entirely convinced that Baby #2 will arrive to Winter weather in December/January. We’ll see.

Preparing for a VBAC

I’m 27 weeks today. Depending on what pregnancy book/website/etc you look at, I’m either at the tail end of the 2nd trimester or the beginning of the 3rd trimester. Either way, I’ve done a lot of thinking about birth over the past 20something weeks. I’ve read Ina Mae’s Guild to Childbirth in full and then I reread a couple of sections. I’m in the midst of both Birthing from Within and The Bradley Method of Childbirth. That Daddy and I have hired a doula (trained birth support for women and families during labor and birth or postpartum). I’m seeing a midwife group that associated with the only local “Baby Friendly” Hospital certified by the World Health Organization. I’m preparing for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). It’s exciting. And a bit scary because it’s the unknown. H Money’s pregnancy and birth was so completely different because I had so many appointments and everything was medicalized. It wasn’t the way I wanted it, but I was able to let go of my ideal to accept was was needed. This time around I’m excited about my second chance. My art processing H Money’s pregnancy and birth and this pregnancy still isn’t finished, but I have plans for it. I’ve talked with a Bradley Birth instructor and hopefully That Daddy and I will get to do some classes with her. There are still a few things on my mental list that I want to do, but we’re getting there.

Grace

I hate running late. Hate it. HATE it. I’m not sure why it’s such a stressful thing for me, but it is. I typically run on time for all of the various appointments we have (and honestly, on time for me is at least a few minutes early), but the last few weeks I have had a bunch of “mom-nesia” or “placenta-brain” (either name works). It’s not uncommon for pregnant women to be forgetful, which is fine, but I still hate running late. This morning we were right around 20 minutes late to H-Money’s occupational therapy appointment. Why? I had the correct time in my calendar in my phone. I did not, however, write the correct time on the calendar on the fridge. I’m not sure why I did that, but it happened. I realized right before 9:00 AM that the appointment was set for 9:00 AM and not 9:30. D’Oh! Fortunately, H-Money’s OT was very gracious and we were able to just start therapy late (I called to let them know we were running late as soon as I realized) and we were able to still do the whole hour of therapy because her next patient was running late (maybe it’s in the air today?).
In the car on the way to therapy I had to remind myself to be gracious with me, too. It’s hard to give myself grace sometimes, but also necessary. One of my favorite quotes is, “Grace is for mamas, too.” I’m not sure who to give credit to for saying it originally, but I often have to remind myself that I am allowed to make mistakes.
In other news, I am working on a plan to ensure that I translate appointment times from my phone calendar to the paper calendar correctly since my brain doesn’t always seem to be with it.